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Sunday, February 5, 2017

Pickleball and Relationships

Obviously, our relationship will never be the same after this game...

The Sunday series on pickleball relationships concludes with an article from Prem Carnot.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, February is the month we tend to focus on our “special” relationship (or lack there of). I thought it would be appropriate this month to take a look at how pickleball impacts and influences our relationships. I share some insight on the relationship my wife and I have regarding pickleball, and what I’ve seen from my time traveling around the country.

How Pickleball Impacts My Relationship

As you may know, my wife, Wendy, and I learned to play the game at the same time, and we were both immediate fans of the sport. We played together, traveled together, competed together and are now in the pickleball business together. (Heck, we wrote the book on pickleball—together!)

While we are lucky enough to get along extremely well together in most of those domains, I’ll be the first to admit that she’s threatened “pickleball partner divorce” on me more than a few times when we play in tournaments. (Evidently even being “The Guru” I’m not quite as patient with my wife in tournament play as I am with my students…)

On the days when I go play by myself, she tells me pretty clearly, pretty quickly when she’s heard enough of the “shot by shot” analysis of my morning of play. (Happily, when we do go play pickleball together, she will usually re-hash shots with me ’til the cows come home…)

Overall, I’d say we’re both pickleball fanatics but not equally so. Between my work, my passion for the game, and our growing family, I definitely spend a lot more time than her in what we affectionately call “Pickleball-Landia.”

So that’s a quick look at the nature of OUR relationship as it relates to pickleball. But of course, we are just one example….

How I’ve Seen Pickleball Impact Other Relationships

Some couples seem to compete together in tournaments with less conflict than we do (though I have to wonder if one of them isn’t secretly wearing earplugs and THAT’S the true secret to their success).

Others have learned that it’s best for their relationship to avoid playing together in tournaments altogether. And we have all heard the biting remarks from a couple who probably SHOULDN’T be playing on the same court together, but haven’t figured that out yet…an awkward and uncomfortable situation for everyone on the court.

And those are just a few of the variations of couples where BOTH partners play.

We’ve had plenty of times when we go out to dinner with a pickleball friend and their non-pickleball-playing spouse. It’s a true challenge to keep every topic of conversation from turning back toward pickleball.
“Oh, you spent six months in Costa Rica when you were in college? Don’t they run a pickleball tour to Costa Rica now?”
“Ouch, you strained you back painting the house last weekend? I strained my back last year and I couldn’t play pickleball for six weeks straight—it was hell!”
“Wow, who would believe that those basketball players make that much money nowadays… I wonder if there will ever be that much money in pickleball…?” 
“Do I like ballet?  I love ballet… people sometimes joke that it looks like Prem is doing ballet on the court when he plays pickleball…”
I swear, there’s not one topic that exists that can’t be brought back to pickleball one way or another!

And yet, I have seen how this tendency can quickly lead to a new friend who is sitting at the table with eyes glazed over, daydreaming about something—anything—other than pickleball

It seems that there are a couple variations of these spouses. There’s the calm and benevolent partner, who interacts with the afflicted loved one with a high degree of patience and understanding. (Much like they might treat a well-loved, aging dog with incontinence issues…) 🙂

But then there are the spouses who are, understandably, driven a bit mad themselves.

They are still mourning the loss of their beloved partner.  Perhaps they are reflecting on the days when weekend breakfast was a leisurely time of shared companionship, rather than a quick peck on the cheek while grabbing a granola bar and and shouting a brief, “Love ya! See you later, Honey!”  They are struggling to make peace with the foreign, new addict they are now sharing a bed and a home with, perhaps even resenting this person who lives, breaths and talks pickleball morning ’til night…

Over time, pickleball fanaticism has even been known to be a contributing factor in the demise of a long-term relationship.  Of course, at the other end of the spectrum, there are plenty of couples whose relationship was born and continues to flourish on the pickleball court.

Prem Carnot, The Pickleball Guru, is the author of the #1 Best-Seller, Smart Pickleball. You, too, can use his simple "Yes or No" criteria to determine your precise skill level AND get skill-level specific guidance on EXACTLY what to focus on to take your game to the next level. Claim your FREE copy of his Ratings & Goals Guide at:

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