Things You Do NOT Want to Hear from Your Partner

It is a fine thing to be honest, but...

The Pickleball Forum had a good topic that I would like to share.

Things you don't want to hear from your new doubles partner when you step on the court:

• The beans and cabbage aren't agreeing with me.
• So this is what it feels like playing sober?
• Can you explain the scoring system?
• Are we shirts or skins?
• Do you mind if I play lefthanded. I have always wondered if I could hit it lefthanded.
  
• So if you like the kitchen so much why don't you let me play the baseline?Who cares about the 3rd shot!
• Every time we score a point I think we should yell, "take that you cockroach".
• What's a soft game?
• Sit back. Take notes. Enjoy. I'm here to redefine the conventional Pickleball paradigm.
• Hey, this ball has holes in it.
• Btw, I'm a 3.0. I just wanted to see what it would be like to play 5.0.
• What do you mean I have to serve underhanded?
• The holster is just in case we lose.
• I brought cookies because they said I couldn't step in the kitchen, but I don't see one around here, anyway.
• I hope they don't notice the sling I am wearing on my arm...
• We lose...you die!
• Ok...this is how I want you to play.
• Do you have any superglue? I need to re-attach my handle to my paddle before we start.
• I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal, people know me.
• I'm used to medaling so you are gonna have to step up your game.
• Do you mind cutting these handcuffs off?
• My lobs are usually short. Hope you don't mind.
• I wanted to do something special for you, so I had our names Bedazzled on the back of our shorts.
• I thought this was a nude tournament.
  
• My last partner is still in the trunk.
• What is that rectangular box in front of the net ? 
• You cover your sideline, I'll take everything else!
• I see dead people
• Those fancy graphite paddles are overrated. Check out this sweet wood paddle.
• I have a severe intestinal bug, you probably can't catch it from touching the balls, but you'd better wash your hands after the match.
• I hope my rug doesn't fall off my head. It did yesterday while playing.
• I hope these sunglasses don't look too funny... I just got my eyes dilated.
• Can you hold my hand? I get so nervous when I play?
• Do these overalls make my butt look big?
  
• Do you play it is o.k. to stand in the kitchen after we return the serve?
• I find it easier to run forward than back so I stay at the baseline.
• I don't run for any lobs...you'll have to deal with them.
• I won this tournament with my last partner!
• Don't I know you from Tinder
• We're playing I formation, right?
• Do you mind if instead of tapping paddles , you just pull my finger?
• My new years resolution is to actually finish a tournament without getting thrown out.
• This isn't a knee brace, its black mold.
• Can I borrow your paddle? Mine keep breaking when I throw them.
• I like to play no man's land cuz I'm scared of the ball.