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Sunday, May 29, 2016

Offbeat Sunday: The Doubles Glossary

If you need a laugh - we mean a real laugh - you have to read this. If you've seen it before well... a little reminder never hurt anyone. Here goes!

Following is
 a glossary that every doubles player will want to memorize to keep the peace with both partners and opponents:

“Yours!” Translation: I closed too tight to the net and if I try to back up, the twenty extra pounds l’m carrying will make me tip over like Humpty-Dumpty.

Mine!!!” Translation: You missed the last four overheads so I’ll trample you if you don’t get the heck out of my way!

Short!!!” Translation: My bad.

Good idea.” Translation: Really stupid shot but I’m supposed to stay positive with my partner.

No!!!” Translation: Take that ball out of the air and I’ll kill you because it’s flying to the back fence.

Bounce!!” Translation: Don’t take that ball out of the air but keep an eagle eye on it because I might be totally wrong and then it’s your fault if it drops in and you didn’t hit it.

I’m going to serve & come in.” Translation: You cover your alley and the lob because I’m going to serve and then take one or two steps in the direction of the net before total paralysis sets in.

We’ll do better next time, partner.” Translation: I’m dumping you for a taller partner who loves to poach.

That was just out.” Translation: The ball was really in but we needed the point.

Are you sure that was out?” Translation: You liar. You know it caught the line.

Have a nice match.” (what you say to opponents before you play) Translation: We’re going to kill you - just wait.

Nice match.” (what you say to opponents after you win) Translation: We kicked your sorry butts.

Nice match.” (what you say to opponents after you lose) Translation: You guys suck and didn’t deserve to win. You hit all that soft, slicey-dicey crap we hate to play against. We’re going to kill you the next time. I wish I hadn’t had that second cosmo last night and stayed up to watch three episodes of "Breaking Bad".

- from Pro-Lite Sports.

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